Let me Explain -

Ok - so posts have been far and few between.
Let me explain -
Today - I got up at 9, at the theatre at 10 for a Shakespeare monologue showing. 10:15 - 10:45 costume fitting. 10:45 - 1:30 Christmas Carol Rehearsal. 1:30 - 2 prep for solo mio performance. 2-3:30 solo mio performance. 3:30 to 5:15 Christmas carol rehearsal. 5:15 - 5:45 - desperately nap in the green room with the least amount of people in it. 5:45 - 10 Christmas Story spot op duties during the performance. 10:30 - 12 - Try to - Do laundry, eat - something, anything - Drink a beer, Shave, maybe shower, read a book - at least a couple of pages, check facebook, check personal email, check theatre email, then finally at 11:38 - blog.

Dear lord, why did you not make 36 hour days?

This, however, is a better day, because this entire week, AFTER the Christmas Story show, I've been rehearsing my solo mio. so I'd get home around 12, get to bed around 1:30 - and just die for a few hours.
I love my life. The body is an amazing thing.

So - my solo mio went up today and it was great. I mean great. Its beautiful. I'm so damn proud of it. - If I can manage it - I'm going to post all the drafts - there were 6 from start to finish, but for now - Here is the final draft, the script. here is the script.

There's 4 characters - and I did them all. Each character addresses on side of the audience. its a thrust stage so there is audience on 3 sides of you. And the "ME" character always addresses the front, along with "Ryan"
The only movement, aside from my head turning back and forth was a step down stage every time "Ryan" spoke.
Thank you Rachel Paul, my director, for showing me how simplicity is beautiful.
Ok folks. Good night.

Honest Air – Last and 100 Final Draft – Ryan Westwood Solo Mio                               November 18, 2010

Me:        Make a decision

Lies:       Stop right now. Don’t say a word. Leave the room. Get married, and be happy. All you have to do is lie.

Ryan:     Dad, I’m so tired. I just don’t know where I’m at anymore.

Lies:       Why are you saying this to him? You’re not going to tell him because our plan is perfect. It’s flawless. You’re going to forget this. So just dig a little deeper, bury it down a little further, and it will disappear.

Truth:    You are not going to forget this. You think about it when you get up in the morning, you think about it all through the day, and then you dream about it at night. It is not going to disappear.

Ryan:     Dad, I don’t know if I can tell you this.

Lies:       I know you want to tell someone. It’s natural. It’s a natural reaction to a natural action that several normal people have taken and worked through. It’s normal. So just work through it like everyone else.

Truth:    Normal? It’s normal to lie to your fiancé on a daily basis? Well that’s a new one. See I thought that normal people, healthy people, people who are in love were honest with each other - But that just me.

Ryan:     Dad, do you lie to mom? I don’t mean like, little things. I mean – do you ever lie to mom? Yeah I didn’t think so.

Lies:       Look, you love her right? You know what’s gonna happen if you tell her? You’re gonna break her heart. You know how much she’s gonna cry? Don’t break her heart. You love her too much.

Truth:    If you love her then you’ll accept the fact that you’ve already hurt her - That the damage is already done. And every day you sit here and lie, you twist that dagger a little more. So make this a break up instead of a divorce – or a custody battle.

Ryan:     Dad, I need you to tell me that Ashley and I will not work out.

Lies:       Whoa whoa whoa what are you doing? You will not fuck this up. You stop right now.

Ryan:     Dad, I need you to tell me before I change my mind.

Lies:       Do you realize what you’re doing? If you tell him you will never marry her. It’s over. Game Over. She is your soul mate. If you don’t marry her, you will never be happy.

Truth:    Ryan, you’ll never be happy until you’re honest with yourself, and everyone else. Now I know you don’t have the courage to tell her, but you do have the courage to tell your dad and once he knows, courage won’t be a factor and you’ll have to tell her.  I know you want to do it. So do it.

Ryan:     I know you don’t understand this Dad. But as soon as I tell you we are done. Ashley and I are done. Wedding done. And I want to tell you but I can’t do this by myself and I know you don’t want to promise me something that you can’t control but just trust me and do what I need you to do so I can tell you.

Lies:       Listen, before you do this – Think about what you’re giving up. The perfect girl, the perfect plan, the perfect life.

Truth:    Ryan, there is nothing perfect about waking up next to a wife that you lie to every day for the rest of your life.

Ryan:     Dad, if you love me, tell me that Ashley and I will not work out.

Me:        And he told me.

                And I told him.

                And I told her.

                And I took in the first breath of Honest Air I had tasted in two years.

                And I’ll never forget how sweet it was.